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The man who tortured me was one of the defendants in the notorious Dutroux case, which, when it broke the news in 1996, was believed it would blow up the Belgian pedophile network.But instead, eight years later, only Marc Dutroux received a life sentence.And society still values the career person over the survivor.

Read More: Pakistani Mother Sentenced to Death for Burning Daughter Alive in ' Honor Killing' My life was spared, and I was told to remain silent forever. In 1988, when I was 25 years old, I was walking downtown Los Angeles, near Skid Row, and got a faint, specific whiff of human feces, and was assaulted with the memory of the extreme humiliation I had suffered as a child.When my torture began, he stood watching, laughing. My energetic body latched onto his in pure defiance. " had become me, and all I saw was the energy behind the troubled ocean of blue in his eyes, and the love in spite of all the pain he had passed on to me.This was the third time that my entire being became filled with an otherworldly force. I was led away to a small room, and strapped onto a butcher's block.Around my sixth birthday, in 1969, I was taken to an orgy for the first time, in a castle.I was used for an S&M show, on a low stage, chained up with an iron dog collar, and made to eat human feces.

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My instant thought was: "If this is true, I'm going to kill myself."I was too identified with the experience, and the shame was too great.